How Do You Fix A Train Wreck?

About 10 years ago, I thought I had it all together.  I had everything that is supposed to symbolize success: nice home, German cars, fancy vacations and all the other stuff that normally comes with the package.

One problem with the situation above: It came at a steep price.  Most of my time was spent away from my wife as I traversed the United States on airplanes and spent late nights at the office.

To put it honestly – I was a train wreck.  Some people are alcoholics, others abuse drugs, but I was addicted to work and accompanying success.

Trouble Disguised As Success

In a lot of ways, mine was the worst kid of affliction.  If you’re an alcoholic, you can easily see (hypothetically) the destruction brought about by your poor choices. However, as a workaholic the damage is disguised behind the illusion of “success”.

The Day It All Came Crashing Down

June 18th, 2005 is a day I will remember for the rest of my life.  it’s the day my world came crashing down around me.

Less than 12 hours before, I held my newborn daughter, Cambrea, in my arms I told her not to worry because I would make sure everything would always be Okay. However, there I stood on the morning of the 18th, watching helplessly as Cambrea was placed on life support and rushed to the local Children’s Hospital.  I was terrified that I would never see her again.

In that moment, nothing else in my life mattered.  The only thing I really wanted was to be with my family.

Where To Start

Realizing that I needed to get my life in order was the easy part.  The real challenge was deciding where to start.  Like any addiction, being a workaholic affects a lot of other areas of your life.  Which one needed work first?

I Needed A Good SWOT

Not knowing where to start, I fell back on the one area I knew better than anything else – Business.  If I was going to get things turned around, I would need to start with a good SWOT:

The SWOT exercise is used by companies all over the world to determine how they can improve.  Here’s how each section works:

Strengths

Not everything we’re doing is bad or destructive.  Even the most messed up company or person has good qualities and strong points.  it’s important to acknowledge these because you’re going to use your strong qualities to help you overcome the bad ones.

Ironically, in my case, a key strength was my work ethic.  Being willing to work hard and long is not necessarily bad.  I was just applying it to the wrong areas.  For me the key was to refocus and work hard at being a good husband and father.

Weaknesses

These are the areas that need dramatic improvement.  The things that left alone will ultimately lead to your downfall.

For me, my weakness was in two major areas:

• Neglecting my wife.  For the first 13 years, our marriage she spent a lot of time alone as I flew all over the country playing “Superman” to whatever problem existed.
• Worry.  I can be a chronic worrier.  I worried about my family’s financial future, sending my kids to good schools, having good medical insurance, etc.  To deal with my worry, I worked, and worked, and worked.  After all, the only way I knew to deal with these worries is to be a top performer.

The great thing about being honest and acknowledging your weaknesses is that they tell you exactly what you need to focus on to make the biggest and fastest improvements in your life.

Opportunities

Think of opportunities as seeds.  They are areas that you’ve never put any time into, but they have tremendous potential to help you grow.

My opportunity was the strong network I had built over the years.  I was able to use my connections to get a position in my company that significantly reduced the amount of time I spent traveling, thus allowing me to be home more with my family.

Threats

We all have “dragons” that left uncontrolled can result in destructive behavior.

For most people their threats are obvious.  Addicts have drugs and alcohol – just one use can lead to a downward spiral.  For others it’s negative self talk, which can lead to severe anxiety and confidence issues.

My threat has been and always will be success.  Not for achievement’s sake, but because it helps me deal with my worry.  However, as you read in the beginning of this post, it can quickly spiral out of control.

Continuous Improvement

In business, like life, we recognize perfection as an impossible goal.  There is no perfect company.  Likewise, there is no perfect person; therefore the goal should be “continuous improvement”.

The SWOT tool is a great way to get you started on your own continuous improvement.

 

Angelo Lombardo is a Fortune 500 executive and faculty member of Winery Academy. Like his posts? Become an elite member and get his webinars for free.